Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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