apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
