$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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