Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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