he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
