one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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