Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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