I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
