I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize