my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
