the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
