Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
