and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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