Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
