i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
