I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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