I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
