Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
