Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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