Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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