We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
