spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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