it wasn't lemon gatorade
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
