Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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