He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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