Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
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Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
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then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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