I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
