dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
