Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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