i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
