I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Randomize