if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She is in my trunk
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
