that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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