Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
