That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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