explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize