I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
