I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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