You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
