Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
