An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
