All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
