Well apparently he's into motor boating.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You have to summon your inner elephant
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
