She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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