Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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