oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We talked him into tasing himself.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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