you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize