You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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