The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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