Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Is Oprah even human
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
