Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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