btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
MIDGETS
????
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
