my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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