Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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