I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
