Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
