we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She's the barista slut.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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