Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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