Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
