Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
