If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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