The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
