Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
