if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
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Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
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Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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